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The world through his eyes: one or two months

Imagine for a moment that anything that surrounds us has a name or function, and that very few things are connected to a memory. A child perceives the objects around him and the events that occur mainly in the form of feelings that they do arise in him. If the mother calls him "love", he does not know what that word refers to him, nor even what it means, not even the distinction as sound, different for example from a stroke, but instead captures perfectly the way in which that sound "floats" on him, recognizing that the "emotional quality" that can soothe, excite or wrapping it gently, to rekindle his interest. Even we adults have the ability to capture the emotional quality of experience, but more often than not we pay attention, while the attention of a child in the first month is focused exclusively on it.
For a newborn, the distinction between inside and outside is not defined: he is not able to understand what feeling arises in him (such as hunger) and what instead is triggered by an event outside. Similarly, the child does not distinguish between himself and others, in particular his mother is experienced as a part of him, only later begin to realize that he and his mother are two separate persons, and this will cause frustration . Daniel Stern describes
so fascinating how the infant perceives the world around him, and I would like to share with you a piece of his book Diary of a Child, in which he tries to give an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat an infant feels when he is hungry. I think he can be very useful for a new mother to get an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat your child feels when desperate cries for hunger, even when it seems to experience pain. For us adults it is very difficult to imagine that hunger may cause a sensation so intense that even cause pain, yet the baby is just like that and if we consider what has been said above about the impossibility of distinguishing between inside and outside and give meaning to sensations, we can well imagine As the experience of hunger is for a newborn something shocking, something which affects the nervous system of the child as a sudden storm, bringing chaos and causing a temporary disruption of the experience and behavior.
But now here are the words of Stern

A storm threatening. The light takes a metallic glow. The procession of clouds in the sky splits. Patches of sky flying in all directions. The wind picks up, silent. You will hear the hiss, but there is no movement. The wind and its sounds have taken different paths. Each pursues his companion lost with sudden sprints and jumps. The world seems to disintegrate. Something is going to happen. The discomfort increases. Expands from the center and becomes in pain. E 'center for the storm rages. E 'in the deepest core earning power, waves up to become buttons. These waves impel out the pain and then portray it. The wind, the sounds and patches of sky are sucked into the center. It is found at last meeting. Just to be thrown away and then sucked back to form the next wave, stronger and blacker. The tide button grows to dominate the entire universe. The world howls. Everything explodes and scatters and then come together and rush back towards the knot of anxiety that always seems about to break, but that does not break ever.

Daniel Stern, Diary of a Child, Wise Oscar Mondadori.

Rock And Roll Leather Bracelet

desire for children ...

has just closed the poll, which asked how many children would you like to have. In this regard I would like to thank the friends of The World of the Twins, who were really kind and number attended. Surely the result of the survey was influenced by the large participation of bi-mothers, but the result was a 13% two children and a 10% in three. I think it is worthwhile to reflect on this result, which shows how to be a certain "wants" to have children, and certainly more than one. Needless to say, this desire is faced with the situation in which our society currently is, job insecurity, studies that go on at length and in the end the difficulty in achieving almost all the project of creating a family and have children then. This is not news that marriages are celebrated more in old age and that the arrival of the baby is growing late, so that then the woman must often experience difficulties related to their reproductive age is no longer just tender. On the psychological level is certainly very difficult to find the balance between the strong desire to become parents and to "settle" on business and economic level, it creates a conflict between these two destinations, with the result that often to become mothers or fathers are relegated to second plan. All this, in my view to increased removal of the modern woman by the idea of \u200b\u200bmotherhood, but once very strongly linked to the mental representation of the feminine. And 'as if she was somehow forced or directed to give priority to the role of "career woman", to the detriment of the strong desire for motherhood that many of us feel. Motherhood is no longer seen as a natural event, as part of a woman's life, but takes on different characteristics, is struck by feelings of fear, "merit" is viewed as something that somehow belongs to us, but when and how we want. That is increasingly deprived of its natural features and spontaneity, and increasingly "medicalized, turned almost into a disease, rather than being seen as a joyous event and" normal. " The steady increase in caesarean section, even without showing actual medical indications about the health of the mother or child, in my opinion are linked to previous comments. And 'as if the woman has always been the custodian of the role of "parent" if it is removed and instead look at him now with fear and the fear of not being able to not be able to endure the pain, changes in own body. E 'born' tocofobia, "the fear of childbirth, for which it is impossible to even imagine being able to give birth to a son in a natural way, we prefer to deal with the event under anesthesia, remain almost alien to this event now seen as shocking and completely lost the aura of naturalness, which for centuries had. Paradoxically, she evolves from the point of view business and career and lost but what is for fefinizione femininity, desire and fear he has at the same time.

Macrocytosis Without Anemia

I apologize for my long absence from the blog, but I'm a little busy these days and I can not always find time to write ...
I leave, however, some suggestions for readings related to the theme of motherhood and the mother-child relationship.
you again soon to face together the first months of life baby, trying to imagine how the world can be seen through his eyes.

Desmond Morris, "The Child. All because", Essays Oscar Mondadori, pp. 202, € 7.40

After focusing his research on baby animals, the ethologist and anthropologist Desmond Morris has turned his attention to the little man, studied in the neonatal period, one in which the child is totally unconditional. Unaware of the use of the word and the helpless infant, in fact, shows a surprising potential capacity. But only partially know the why of his behavior and understand their reactions to the world around him. By novel combinations between human babies and those of other animal species, Morris explains the reasons for many behaviors of infants. With an air of scientific but also with so much humanity, he answers many questions that plague parents, those relating to the mode of delivery or the timing of the dentition, those on the smile and the baby's crying.

Desmond Morris (Swindon, Whilshire, 1928), noted anthropologist and ethologist, has long been responsible for the mammalian section of the London Zoo. He created successful TV documentaries and published over forty books on human and animal behavior, including major bestseller The Naked Ape (1974) and The Man and His gestures (1981). Oscar in the collection include: The dog, the cat understand, Intimate Behaviour, The Cat, The naked eye and the human zoo.

Marcello Bernardi, Fulvio Scaparro, "The Secret Life of the child. The last notes of a great pediatrician, Bloomsbury Publishing, 94 pgg. 10 €

"Universo colorless, with no lights or shadows, day or night, without borders and limits, uniform, inert, silent and deserted. A place that fills us, a space where we are missing. World property and immutable. The beginning is this. So begins the journey of our life. The range between the limbo of a quiet "not" and the nightmare of a disastrous fall in the anguish of the void. The ineffable and the other one. "

" Marcello Bernardi was for decades the landmark not only for the educational psychology research in our country, but also for generations of parents. The secret life of the child was to be in its intentions, which organized a book and send the results of his tireless research in the form, however, a free exploration of the topic, out of any structural scheme handbook. Bernardi's disappearance in January 2001 has interrupted the work, undertaken with his usual enthusiasm and which remained a part typed. Fulvio Scaparro collected, interpreted and commented on the material: "Compared with no intrusion is what I intended to present the reader with some of the last pages written by Bernardi, accompanied by some of his preparatory notes (...) A theme that has fascinated throughout his life and to whom he approached with the utmost respect, knowing that if the "secret" is to talk, perhaps it makes sense to keep it that way (...) The meeting between us and the children can be realized, surprising and fertile, if we place ourselves in an attitude of large to small opening, maximum availability, ready to put into action those very very sharp senses that allow artists to understand and, perhaps, but not necessarily explain. "

Marcello Bernardi (1922-2001), pediatrician and educator, author of numerous books and writings. Di Bernardi Salani published letters to the parents on the job of raising children (1998), and the tenderness and fear (1996, with Pina Tromellini), recently published in paperback by Tea.


Fulvio Scaparro Adolescent Psychology and has taught at the University of Deviance degli Studi di Milano and developmental psychology in schools of specialization in Pediatrics and Clinical Criminology. Among his recent publications include Vecchi lions and their alliance with the irresistible young (Rizzoli 2003), The summer (Vita e Pensiero, 2003), The want to smile (Frassinelli 2003). He has a column in the Corriere della Sera, where he answers readers on the problems of parent-child relationship.